A Bracha for Every Occasion...
I had a wonderful “Chanukah” vacation this year with my children. For the first time, we went on a cruise as a family. Needless to say, on a “Christmas” cruise, the atmosphere is quite festive and seasonal…Christmas is in full bloom. On Christmas day we took our seats at our usual table for dinner in the dining room. My 4 year old son, Sammy, aware that “this night was different from all other nights,” spontaneously offered a bracha at the table… “BARUCH ATA HASHEM, ELOKEINU MELECH HAOLAM, ASHER KIDSHANU BEMITZVOTAV VETSIVANU AL HA’CHRISTMAS TIME.” We all burst into laughter! Later on, when I had a greater opportunity to reflect on the moment, I realized just how profoundly Jewish my children are. Who has ever of saying a Hebrew bracha at Christmas dinner? Last year, I remember asking my son what he wanted me to serve at his 3 year old birthday party. He replied… “tuna fish, orange fish (lox), and honey cake,” a typical kiddush breakfast. Nebech…what a sheltered world he lives in.
As a boy, I grew up in Sudbury, Ontario, a place that is not renowned for it’s Yiddishkeit. Yet, I did grow up very aware of my Jewishness and how I was different from the other kids. After all, I was the only Jew in my entire school. I recall participating in more than one Christmas pageant, and even singing the solo in “Away in the Manger.” My children lead a very different life…they only have Jewish friends, live in a completely Jewish neighbourhood, attend Associated Hebrew School, and go to Jewish summer camp. So what is the right balance for any child? At what point does sheltering them in one sociological environment leave them at a disadvantage in our mosaic society?
On a recent visit to the public library with Sammy, I asked him to pick any book he wanted to sign out, and I would read it to him at bedtime. On his first visit, he chose a book about Sukkot. Perfect, how could I go wrong with Sammy the Spider celebrating Sukkot along with all of the other neighbourhood insects? On my second visit, he chose a book about a jolly looking man with a white beard and red suit – Santa Claus. I signed out the book and read it to him before bed for an entire week. When we returned it, he replaced it with another book…about Santa Claus.
I wonder what my Chassidic friends at the Tel Aviv Cantorial Institute would think of my choices for my children. Is hiding them from the other cultures in our society the answer to making them feel more connected to Judaism? As an adult, I feel very comfortable mixing with people regardless of where they pray and what they choose to believe in. It probably goes back to my youth in Northern Ontario…eh! I think the answer is clear…that we must embrace the realities of the world we live in. My children now understand that some hot dogs are not the kind that they can eat and they accept it. They also know that Santa Claus is a major part of other children’s lives, not theirs. They admire the beauty of the decorated trees with presents underneath that other children have, but we don’t. This doesn’t preclude me from giving them a candy cane at the mall, admiring the beautiful Christmas lights, or embracing the secular beauties of the season.
Time will be the true judge of my wisdom and attempts to educate my children. It will require continuous effort to find the proper balance so that they can learn to navigate in our society with tolerance and understanding. It is my hope that this generation can learn to embrace our differences in values, culture and observance, so that their future will be paved with a more harmonious and healthier society.
Cantor Eric Moses