BEREAVEMENT NOTIFICATIONS:

A bereavement notification email is sent when a member or a relative of a member passes away. If you would like to receive this information, please e-mail roseanne@bethsholom.net and she will ensure that you are opted in to receive this email.

If you are a member of the synagogue and a death occurs in your family, please notify the synagogue office as soon as possible so that we may notify the Clergy, Staff and Board of Governors.

 

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MOUNT SINAI MEMORIAL PARK

Mount Sinai Memorial Park cemetery grounds are open for visits from 8:00am to 3:45pm, Monday to Friday and 9:00am to 3:45pm on Sundays. Cemetery and office closed on all Jewish holidays.  Office hours are Monday to Thursday, 10:00 am to 3:00 pm - for contact by email or phone only. 

Note: No entrance after our posted closing time. All visitors and vehicles must clear the grounds no later than 15 minutes past the closing time.

Cemetery Rules

• DO NOT ENTER if you are feeling unwell
• Maintain 6' (2m) between people at all time, unless they are a member of your household
• Limit visits to a maximum of 15 minutes
• We encourage all visitors to wear a face covering while visiting the cemetery

Public Washrooms, Administration Building and Staff

• The cemetery washrooms are open to all visitors.
• The Administration building, including our cemetery managers office, is closed to visitors – staff will continue to address any questions by telephone or preferably by email to info@mscemetery.ca
• We ask that you do not approach staff at this time unless you are wearing a face covering and will maintain proper distancing of at least 6' (2m)

Visiting the Cemetery Grounds

• While the cemetery grounds remain open, our administrative office remains closed to visitors. 
• Our hand washing station is not set-up.
• Social distancing of 2m (6') from anyone not living within your home must occur, in addition to wearing a face covering (covering your nose AND mouth) while others are in your general area.

Graveside Funeral Service

• Graveside services allow for all aspects of the funeral (in the past, typically held at a funeral home chapel or synagogue and the interment occurring at the burial location).
• The cemetery does not impose a time restriction on the service, although the funeral home handling the service may have specific timing allocated for a service.

Unveilings

• Mount Sinai Memorial Park is requesting a limit of 50 attendees at an unveiling.
• All attendees must remain 2m (6') apart from those from other households.  
• All unveilings must be booked through our office - there is no charge.  
• Please contact Gary at gary@mscemetery.ca or 416-633-2200 x 25.
• Note: Office hours are Monday - Thursday, 10am to 3pm.

 

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THE FUNERAL

Your first step is to contact one of the two funeral homes listed below:
Benjamins Park Memorial, 2401 Steeles Avenue West, Toronto, (416) 663- 9060 
Steeles Memorial Chapel, 350 Steeles Avenue West, Thornhill, (905) 881-6003 
The funeral home will meet with your family to arrange the details of the time and place for the funeral. They will either contact the Rabbi for you or you may choose to contact Rabbi Flanzraich yourself.

Cemetery & Burial Plots

Beth Sholom has two sections of plots at the Mount Sinai Cemetery, located at Keele and Wilson in Toronto. Each member in good standing is entitled to one burial plot in our cemetery, subject to a registration fee.

In cases where there is a surviving spouse, the spouse may choose to reserve the adjoining plot. You must advise the funeral home of your intention to reserve an adjoining plot next to the deceased. Members may opt to pre-reserve both plots through our office. To discuss cemetery & burial plots, please contact our Executive Director, Stephanie Krasman at (416) 783-6104.

Shiva & Shiva Minyan

Shiva is observed for the the first seven days following the burial of one's father, mother, spouse, son, daughter, brother (including half-brother), and sister (including half-sister). Rabbi Flanzraich can offer guidance with respect to the laws and traditions surrounding the specific exceptions to observance during Shabbat and certain Jewish holidays.  Following the funeral, the three daily prayer services be held in the Shiva home and the mourners recite the Kaddish. Members of the community are expected to help complete a Minyan.

If a mourner is unable to lead the Minyan himself, we will make our best efforts to help you arrange Minyan leaders from among the Beth Sholom community. On days when it is not possible to gather a Minyan in the Shiva home, the mourner is permitted to attend services in the synagogue. Contact Roseanne at (416) 783-6103 for assistance.

The Shiva Home

It is a mitzvah for the mourners to observe Shiva in the place where the soul departed, but if this is not possible, another location is designated (for example, the departed's home or the home of a mourner).

To prepare the Shiva home:
Cover, remove or turn around all mirrors and pictures of people
Light a seven-day candle (if a seven-day candle can not be found, you may use seven regular candles, but a candle should always remain lit) 
Arrange low stools or crates for the mourners to sit on, and regular chairs for visits.

Prepare Kippot, Tallit and tefellin, prayer books for services, a charity box and several books of Psalms. Refreshments should be limited to simple kosher cake and juice and/or coffee - elaborate food and drink is to be avoided.

Prepare a copy of the traditional "Condolence Declaration" for visitors to recite. 
If a Torah scroll is to be kept in the Shiva home for prayer services, it should be placed in a respectable location and covered with a Tallit when not being used.

Restrictions During Shiva

Rabbi Flanzraich can provide guidance and answer questions about prohibited activities and exceptions during Shiva, but in summary, mourners are prohibited from:

• Greeting people in the usual manner (i.e "Hello," "Hi")
• Wearing fresh clothing
• Shaving or taking a haircut
• Playing or listening to music
• Participating in joyful activities (i.e. reading papers or entertaining books, watching videos or shows, attending social events, concerts, or weddings, etc.)
• Sitting on regular chairs, stools, recliners, or couches
• Working
• Bathing for pleasure
• Using cosmetics, lotions, oils, and perfumes
• Wearing leather shoes
• Engaging in marital relations
• Studying Torah (except parts dealing with mourning and repentance)

Kaddish

Kaddish is recited morning, afternoon and evening when we are in mourning. It is always and only recited in the presence of a Minyan and not alone. We say Kaddish for 11 months from the date of burial for our parents, and for one month from the date of burial for our spouses, siblings, and children. If you have any questions regarding the saying of Kaddish, or the date and timing of when to end your Kaddish, please contact Rabbi Flanzraich.

Yahrzeit

We observe yahrzeit for our parents, spouses, siblings and children. It is marked on the Hebrew date of the person’s passing beginning the evening before at sundown. A  24-hour candle is lit and we attend synagogue to recite the Kaddish. It is traditional to avoid attending any celebrations or parties on the day of yahrzeit, and some people fast on that day. We also give to a charity in the name of the deceased.

A 24-hour candle is traditionally lit on each day during the week of Shiva (mourning) immediately following a death, every year at sundown on the eve of the yahrzeit (anniversary of the death), every year at sundown preceding the start of Yom Kippur, and at sundown preceding the last day of the holidays of Sukkot, Passover and Shavuot.

The most significant of these is the yahrzeit, which is marked on the Hebrew date of the person’s passing beginning the evening before as the Jewish day starts at nightfall the previous day. A  24-hour candle is lit and we attend synagogue to recite the Kaddish (the memorial prayer). It is traditional to avoid attending any celebrations or parties on the day of yahrzeit, and some people fast on that day. We also give to a charity in the name of the deceased.

Members are invited and encouraged to let us know the name and yahrzeit of your departed loved ones, so that we may honor their memory by announcing their name at our synagogue during services. 

Honouring the Memory of a Loved One

There are many opportunities to honour the memory of your loved one within the synagogue to which they have contributed for so many years. Each donation will be recorded and acknowledged by a donation card selected from a series drawn from our Grand Cities of Israel stained glass windows which adorn our Kiddush lobby. Alternately, a Yahrtzeit or Seat plaque dedicated to their memory may be obtained in either the Sanctuary of the Chapel.

https://www.bethsholom.net/form/memorial-plaque-order-form.html

Yizkor

Yizkor, in Hebrew, means "Remember." It is also a special memorial prayer for the departed recited in the synagogue following the Torah reading on the last day of Passover, on the second day of Shavuot, on Shemini Atzeret and on Yom Kippur. The main component of Yizkor is our private pledge to give charity following the holiday in honor of the deceased. 

 

 

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ONE MORE CANDLE PROJECT

Our Synagogue is supporting the One More Candle project. Its aim is to ensure each of the 1.5 million children who perished with their families in the Shoah is not forgotten. Many have no one to remember they lived. By partnering with the One More Candle program, Beth Sholom Synagogue has committed to honoring the memory of 365 children who perished in the Shoah, one for each day of the calendar year.
We hope you will consider “adopting” a child’s yahrzeit for the same date as your loved ones. (Z”L).  There is no cost. For more information about adopting a child’s yahrzeit please click on the image. Indeed these children are our children.
May the soul of your loved one continue to be a blessing to you, your family and the People of Israel.

 

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Foundations, Monuments & Unveilings

There are many customs relating to the timing of erecting the monument and unveiling ceremonies.  You may select the monument provider of your choice, however all monuments must meet the size regulations set out by the cemetery. The funeral home you have selected will be helpful in assisting you with obtaining the names of different providers in the city if required.  The cost of the monument is the responsibility of the family. The monument company must apply for a permit to erect the monument in the cemetery. Before a permit can be granted, you will be asked to reimburse the synagogue for the cost of the pre-existing monument foundation. To discuss the details and customs of the unveiling and arrange a convenient time, please speak with Rabbi Flanzraich directly.

From Rabbi Flanzraich:

"Those seeking the comfort that an eternal tradition can give them, need to know how to properly observe these hallowed and ancient laws."

For Support

If you or your family is in crisis, please contact Rabbi Flanzraich at (416) 783-6105. Outside regular business hours, please dial (416) 783-6103 and listen carefully to the prompts for emergency contact information.

Burial Plots

Each member in good standing is entitled to one burial plot in our cemetery, subject to a registration fee. Please contact our executive director, Stephanie Krasman at (416) 783-6104, to make arrangements.

Mourner's Kaddish

Learn the Mourner's Kaddish in English, Hebrew or transliterated Hebrew.  

Hebrew Transliteration:
Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba b'alma di-v'ra
chirutei, v'yamlich malchutei b'chayeichon
uvyomeichon uvchayei d'chol beit yisrael, ba'agala
uvizman kariv, v'im'ru: "amen."

Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varach l'alam ul'almei almaya.

Yitbarach v'yishtabach, v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam
v'yitnaseh, v'yithadar v'yit'aleh v'yit'halal sh'mei
d'kud'sha, b'rich hu,

l'eila min-kol-birchata v'shirata, tushb'chata
v'nechemata da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru: "amen."

Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya v'chayim aleinu
v'al-kol-yisrael, v'im'ru: "amen."

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu
v'al kol-yisrael, v'imru: "amen."

English Translation
Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world
which He has created according to His will.

May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days,
and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon;
and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored,
adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He,
beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that
are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights,
may He create peace for us and for all Israel;
and say, Amen.
Honouring a Loved One
There are many ways to honour the memory of your loved one with a yahrzeit donation within Beth Sholom.

Yahrtzeit Observances

We send reminders to our members when the Yahtrzeit of their loved ones are observed. To add a loved one to your Yahtrzeits, please let us know.

 

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A MESSAGE FROM RABBI FLANZRAICH

In Time of Mourning

"These are the words of Kohelet, son of David, King in Jerusalem; Vanity of vanities, says Kohelet, all is vain, What is the benefit of Man's work? For a generation comes, and a generation goes…" ~ Ecclesiastics 1:1-4

In the confusion that lies between night and day, in the sadness that engulfs us in the distinction between light and darkness, is the pain and anguish of the mourner to be found. At this moment of loss, your entire world is turned upside down, and little makes sense other than the pain of a death. A terrible sense of confusion grabs hold, and you wonder how will you get past this moment? What we understand is that our loss is permanent. What is gone will never come back to us.

While we all know that all things die, that nothing lasts forever; this understanding does little to ease our suffering. While we know that the very fact that we are mortal is what gives us purpose and focus in life, this doesn't comfort us.

Of course, our tradition lives up to what we need at these moments. In fact, at moments of death, people come to rely upon their faith in a far greater way than at any other time in their lives. In the days, weeks and months that follow the loss of a loved one, many people will immerse themselves in the practice of our customs as a way of giving honour not only to their loved one, but also to give comfort to themselves. Yes, Judaism is filled with ways to do this. We say our Kaddishes, we sit Shiva, observe Sheloshim and Avelut Shenati (year-long mourning for a parent). There is Yizkor, and a Yahrzeit. But what do they mean, and, how are they meant to be observed?

Those seeking the comfort that an eternal tradition can give them also need to know how to properly observe these hallowed and ancient laws. We can think back and be comforted to know that our ancestors felt the same things, and still they survived. You can be reassured to know that those who came before you have all lost; mothers, fathers, children, siblings and spouses, and they turned to the immense power of the Jewish faith to guide them through the darkness that every mourner feels.

At these moments you are confronted with a litany of choices. Which funeral home? What kind of casket? What time for the service? Where will the shiva be held? What times for services? Questions and the need for answers are the call of the day.

Beyond the shiva is a host of additional questions that have not only been asked of me by many, many congregants but common mistakes that many people make. I hope to correct this and to prepare an easy guide to help people make some very important decisions that they will live with for the remainder of their lives.Truly, the souls of our loved ones and their memories, are eternally entrusted to us.

With such a precious commodity, there is no room for a mistake. When we were born, our parents were our caretakers. We married and our spouse loved and cared for us. We lived with our brothers and sisters, nurturing one another. But now, we must care for their eternity. This is not an easy task, but the weight of three millennia of Jewish law is behind you. 
I wish to share with you a famous Talmudic dictum. It is oft quoted, but rightly so. Rabbi Meir said, " It is far better to go to the House of Mourning than a House of Celebration for this is the end of all people…(Kohelet 7)" So the living will place their hearts to their end…" Tal. Bavli Moed Katan 28:b. It is, as we say, so very true, that death only pains the living.

Aninut - Before the Burial

From the moment that you hear of a death, a number of emotions are set into place. There is an incredible sense of disbelief, and a feeling of helplessness. Yet, precisely at this moment we are confronted with some decisions of great importance.

The care and preparation of the deceased is a serious task in Judaism — one that should never be taken lightly. Under Jewish Law, those people that you are obligated to ritually mourn are: mother, father, spouse, child, brother, sister, as well as half-brothers and half-sisters. To help you make your decisions, an Onen (the status of the mourner in Jewish Law prior to the burial) is relieved of a great number of Jewish obligations.

Among the types of decisions that will be required of you will be to decide what kind of casket to use. Judaism encourages that the simplest casket money can buy is the greatest honour we can give to our deceased. This custom dates back to the time of the Talmud, where people purchased very expensive coffins, eventually the dead were not being buried because the poor became embarrassed by their inability to honour their dead.

The famed Talmudic scholar, Rabban Gamliel, decreed that he, a great leader of his time, be buried in as plain a casket as possible, and the simplest linen shrouds money could buy (Tal Bavli Ketuvot 8:b). Thus, for over 2,000 years following Rabban Gamliel we have done exactly that. The greatest honour we can bestow upon our dead is to celebrate their life, not their passing.

The casket should be plain on the inside, without any lining whatsoever. However, the casket should be sturdy enough to stand up to the procession and burial. Vaults are also discouraged, but if one must be used due to city ordinances or other necessities, make sure that it is not made of any metal, but of cement. For the cement, which is essentially earth, will disintegrate with time.

Prior to the funeral the Chevra Kadisha (Holy Brotherhood), the Jewish Burial Society, will prepare the body of your loved one for their final journey from this world. With great love and care, the Burial Society will wash and cleanse the body of the deceased. They will take great care not to expose the body so that it is completely naked. Men will tend to the men, and the Women's Burial Society will tend to the women. They will not turn the body face down. All this to show our great respect to the body of our loved one. The burial shrouds (tachrichin) will then be placed on and finally the Tallit that a person (male over the age of 13), wore in his lifetime will envelope him. Then, in a triumphant act of Jewish kindness, the leader of the group will announce, "Dear Sir/Madam; We have done nothing but give you honour and respect." He then pauses, "Yet, if we have failed, or done anything wrong, we beg your forgiveness". The coffin is then closed.

The choice of a chapel or graveside service is entirely a family decision. There is no right or wrong, and by no means should a family put itself into financial hardship to accommodate a chapel service. In fact, many people have found great comfort in the graveside service as being a simple, yet dignified way, to bury their loved one. However, every attempt should be made to make sure that a minyan (ten Jewish men over the age of 13) is present for the burial. With a minyan present, Kaddish can then be said.

Just prior to the funeral, a great Jewish custom will be ready for your observance. The practice of K'riah (literally 'tearing') is a unique practice that has survived amongst our people. While you may have seen many mourners wearing a small, torn black ribbon on their clothing during a funeral this is actually a poor imitation of this great custom.

The black ribbon had its beginnings with the usage of a black armband in non-Jewish funeral services. For ease of use, a ribbon took its place. K'riah, on the other hand, can be fulfilled with the tearing of a garment. Traditionally, it was performed on a jacket, coat or sweater. Today, many people opt to use a tie or scarf. It is this symbol that you will bear for the length of your Shiva. It is a symbol of loss, and permanent scarring to your life at the loss of one so dear to you.

In our peoples' earlier times, the tearing of a garment was a significant act. For how many shirts or jackets did a person own? So with every loss the law permitted a person to tear an undergarment. But for a parent the K'riah ('tear') had to be on the outside. Clear for all to see.

Following the Shiva (seven day mourning period) the tear was allowed to be repaired so the garment could be used again. But Jewish Law forbids the original tear being repaired in such a way as to render it invisible (SA YD 340:39). This is to forever remind us that our losses are permanent. In keeping with the sanctity and joy of these days, the K'riah should not worn on either Shabbat or Yomim Tovim (Jewish holidays).

Funeral

Now that the burial is prepared and the K'riah performed, we come to the funeral.

The Jewish funeral is one of the simplest in all human culture. It is also one of sensitivity to the deceased, and those mourning the life of the deceased. In ancient cultures the sacrifice of family members, and in some modern cultures, the custom of complicated preparations to the body, elaborate or even festive ceremonies and viewings, as well as burials delayed for days are rituals associated with a burial.

The Jewish way is very different. In its simplicity, we find great meaning. In its swiftness, we find long comfort. In its graceful respect, we rediscover everlasting and eternal lessons of life. Because Judaism is forever intended to be a path of the living, to the living, it is committed to the perpetuation and nurturing of life. "And you shall live by them…" (Leviticus 13:22) commands God. In our treatment of our dead, we discover both the depths of benefit and sensitivity for the living.

For this reason, viewings are frowned upon in Jewish tradition. There are many reasons why we refrain from such observances. First of all, the exposing of the body is considered to be a form of disrespect (Lo Talin Ahd HaBoker). Viewings are also a custom that came from non-Jewish practices. (In fact, Wakes are still very common in Christian culture. Some have the practice of observing Wake for up to three days. Yet some, as I heard from a Cuban Catholic, have a Wake for 3-5 hours prior to the burial). It is also a fitting reminder that the body is considered in Judaism to be a kelipah (a shell) that housed the essence of the person that you so deeply loved.

Once the essence is shed, the body is nothing more to be revered. The lasting and final memory that you have, should not be that of the deceased in their coffin. Their memory deserves a greater tribute than what you will see housed in a casket.

Depending on your chosen venue, the funeral may start at a chapel, synagogue, or may begin and end at the cemetery. Yet, no matter where we begin, some aspects are a constant. A eulogy is always given. A special prayer to consecrate the deceased's soul called Kail Malay is recited. The internment will always follow these items.

From the hearse, the pallbearers will be called to carry the casket to its final resting place. In Israel, the coffin is carried in a procession from the chapel to the grave. Amongst Sephardim, when a great person has passed away, two large candles are lit. One is carried in front of the coffin, the other behind. (Darchei Chesed 59:5). I believe this is a powerful lesson that the light that a person brings to this world is never extinguished even with their physical passing. The strength that a person carries lives on forever through the light, and lives, of his family.

We also try to encourage that Jews be the pallbearers. In a world of dissolving distinctions between peoples and faiths this comes to remind us that we do share a common bond. No matter where a Jew is, it is his own people's responsibility to see to his burial. For if we cannot care for our own dead, what can we do for our living?

On our way to the grave, the procession will pause seven times. This is not only to appear reluctant to bury one so beloved, but also to reflect that the word 'Hevel (vanity)' is mentioned in the Book of Ecclesiastics seven times. As the casket is brought to the grave, it is placed onto a lowering device (In some cemeteries, a lowering device is not used. Rather, as the pallbearers approach the grave, a set of straps is placed beneath the coffin. With these straps the pallbearers will lower the casket into the grave.) A family member, or the rabbi, should be the one to release the lever to lower into the grave. Once again, the involvement of a Jew is a great symbol of the care that we have for our dead.

As the casket decends, the rabbi or hazzan will say the Tzadok HaDin (Righteous Judgement). This is a fascinating Talmudic prayer where we publicly announce our acceptance in God's decree. No matter how painful, or tragic, the death has been to our lives we again confirm our belief that all is in the hands of God. To Him we accept what has been given to us. This is why in some communities the family and other mourners read the Tzadok HaDin along with the rabbi and or hazzan.(SA YD 349:3). However, this was to be said at the time of death by those present. Later on, the innovation included saying the Tzadok HaDin at the cemetery before the closing of the grave. This is the custom that we observe today. The source for this prayer is in the Talmudic tractate Avodah Zarah 18.

We are told as Rabbi Chaninah ben Teradyon, who along with his wife and daughter, were being taken to their deaths by the Romans, he spoke out these words, "The Rock in Whom there is just action…". When he finished his wife added, " A righteous God where there is no mistake…". Finally before they died his daughter added, " Great is this judgement…." These are the very words that compose the core of this prayer. It also composes the very essence of how we perceive death. While the way that we live life is in our hands, by the choices we make and the lifestyle we associate with, both our birth and death are beyond our control. When we are born, and how and when we die are events beyond the reckoning of any mortal. This is deeply symbolized by the following midrashic comment;
"It was learned in the name of Rabbi Meir, 'When a person enters into this world, it is with clutched hands. As if to say this entire world I now enter is waiting for me. I shall inherit it all. Yet, at the end when a person dies, his hands are left wide-open. As if to say, I have reaped nothing…'" (Kohelet Rabbah 7:4).

Such is the realization that death brings to our lives, that so little is in our control. The Tzadok HaDin reaffirms our acceptance of God's control and will. As the final words of the Tzadok HaDin are uttered, the rabbi will turn and offer a final prayer.

Those assembled will now line-up, and will perform a great act of public kindness: the completion of the burial. In Jewish tradition, doing for those who cannot do for themselves is looked upon in wonderful ways. And those who have assembled before the open grave are called upon to complete the burial.

Recent customs of walking away from an open grave, or placing in a few token shovels worth of dirt, are not only contrary to long-standing Jewish custom, but also disturbing to the comfort of the mourner. We may think that the quicker the service goes, the better off the mourners will be. Actually, the mourners' draw a tremendous amount of strength from seeing their loved one set to rest. However, in times of extenuating circumstances there are ways to quicken the filling of the grave (SA YD 375:1 ad loc. T"AZ). All people, both men and women are strongly encouraged to help in the filling of the grave (note the custom of women not to be involved in melachah during the Omer MB). As the shovels are taken it is customary for the first three shovels to be gathered on the backside of the shovel (some do this with their hands) as an example that we do not wish to part from our loved ones quickly (Hadrat Kodesh 44). When we finish shoveling the shovel should not be passed into the hands of the next person, but we place it into the earth. All as a reminder that we take nothing with us as we leave this world (Chachmas Adam 159:30).

After the casket has been entirely covered with earth, the mourners will gather for the saying of the Kaddish. The Kaddish that will be said is of another origin than the typical mourners Kaddish that is chanted in the synagogue. While all Kaddeshim (there are five principal Kaddeshim - Mourners, Reader's Half, Reader's Full, Scholar's, Burial) have a similar root source, the Burial Kaddish has a unique message to be delivered in a time of loss. For the Kaddish is not only an affirmation of life at the saddest moment of human existence, it is also recognition that life has a unique power. It is the power to live with a commitment to Godliness, to pursue charity and kindness. Yet that, even in the face of the abyss of death, we have not, and will never abandon our hope in life.

The Burial Kaddish brings a powerful spirit of hope and deliverance to the mourner. Because the Burial Kaddish is primarily Aramaic (the vernacular of the Jews in Babylonian times, an ancient Yiddish), and most people are unfamiliar with its text, so it is not uncommon for the rabbi or hazzan to say it alone.

Following that, all the mourners will join in saying the familiar Mourners Kaddish. As the last words of the Kaddish flow from the mouths of those mourning, all gathered will form two lines, each one facing the other to allow the mourner(s) to pass between them. As they go, the following will be said in unison:
HaMakom Yinachaim Otcha (Otach for a single female mourner, Etchem for a mixed group of mourners, Etchen for a group of only women mourners)
Bitoch Shaar Availay Tzion Vi Yerushalayim. We ask, "That God should comfort you amongst the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"

Notice that the word for God that is used is HaMakom, literally "the place". For now, the mourners have nowhere to turn, save for the truest place of comfort. Their comfort is now found in God Himself, the 'Father', and the 'Mother' of all life.

- Rabbi Aaron Flanzraich

Mourner's Kaddish

Learn the Mourner's Kaddish in English or transliterated Hebrew, and listen to a recording. 

Honouring a Loved One

There are many ways to honour the memory of your loved one with a yahrzeit donation within Beth Sholom. 

Jewish customs, taken as a whole, teach us something distinctive about the Jewish approach to death and grief.

The word Yahrtzeit is a German word that means a yearly anniversary - and the term today to Jews around the world speaks of the annual cycle of marking the date of a loved one’s passing. The date is marked on the Hebrew date of the person’s passing beginning the evening before as the Jewish day starts at nightfall the previous day. The customs surrounding the Yahrtzeit are: 
Reciting the Kaddish in the presence of a minyan. 
Lighting a 24 hour candles appropriately called a “Yahrtzeit candle” 
Giving charity in the name of the deceased. 
These customs, taken as a whole, teach us something distinctive about the Jewish approach to death, and grief. What we don’t permit death to do is pull away from life, and the living. In fact, our approach is quite the opposite because when faced with the death of a loved one we look to find moments to connect with the living (saying kaddish at the synagogue), be loving to others in need (charity in the name of the deceased) and do not despair (lighting a candle) because we deeply believe that while death may claim the life of the person we loved, it does not obliterate their memory from this world. We keep that flame alive, and burning through our love, and customs.

 - Rabbi Aaron Flanzraich