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Bereavement Information

The loss of a loved one is a time of sadness, when support from family, friends, and community is especially appreciated. It is often also a time of reflection when perspective can be gained on the essential relationships of life.

It is appropriate for a person before their death to recite the vidui (confession) prayer. Family and friends also say special prayers and observe traditions during a person's last moments.

For Support

If you or your family is in crisis, please contact Rabbi Flanzraich, Rabbi Sachs, or Cantor Moses at 416 783-6103. Outside regular business hours, please dial the office at (416) 783-6103 and listen carefully to the prompts for emergency contact information.

To discuss end-of-life care, and the death and mourning process; discussions relating to end-of-life care. discuss the death and mourning process, please contact our clergy to arrange for a visit or consultation.

Beth Sholom members entitlements

All members in good standing, save those with limited membership conditions,  are entitled to Rights to Burial at the time of death. Plots are allocated lot-by-lot, row-by-row.

A spouse can choose to reserve the plot next to a deceased spouse at the time of death. If the plot is not reserved at that time by the surviving spouse, then that plot may be used for the next burial. If a spouse wants to reserve the adjacent plot, the full standard rates* will apply.

Pre-arrangements

Members can make pre-arrangements to reserve plot(s) at our cemetery. To reserve these plots, speak to our Executive Director, Stephanie Krasman in our office.

One does not purchase a plot – one reserves the right to be interred in a particular plot. After payment, the member will receive an “Interment Rights Certificate”. Each reservation must be for a particular person and is non-assignable.

 

BAO REQUIREMENTS

Pricing

While there is no charge for the plot itself at the time of need, there are charges* for care and maintenance, permit, administration fee, cement foundations, etc.

Download the current price list.

When a death has occurred, please call one of our local funeral homes

Steeles Memorial Chapel, 2401 Steeles Avenue West, Toronto, (416) 663- 9060

Benjamin's Park Memorial Chapel, 350 Steeles Avenue West, Thornhill, (905) 881-6003

The funeral home will meet with your family to arrange the details of the time and place for the funeral. They will either contact the Rabbi for you, or you may choose to contact Rabbi Flanzraich yourself. Please note that such calls should not be made on Shabbat or Yom Tov. Should Rabbi Flanzraich not be available, an alternate Rabbi approved by Rabbi Flanzraich or one of your choosing will be made available.

The funeral home will arrange for our chevra kadisha to prepare the deceased for burial.

When meeting with the funeral home, please specify that you are a member of Beth Sholom Synagogue.

Read more about what members are entitled to and the availability of plots in our cemetery rules.

 

Bereavement Notifications

When a synagogue member or a relative of a member passes away, a bereavement notification will be sent via email informing members of the date and time of the funeral and shiva.

If you are a member of the synagogue and a death occurs in your family, please notify the synagogue office as soon as possible so that we may notify the Clergy, Staff and Board of Governors.

If you would like to receive bereavement notifications, please contact Roseanne at (416) 783-6103.

Funeral Details

After meeting with the funeral home, you will meet with the Rabbi who will explain the funeral service in detail, as well as an opportunity to discuss the life of the deceased in preparation for the funeral.

 

 

Mount Sinai Memorial Park - Cemetery

Beth Sholom Synagogue has two sections in Mount Sinai Memorial Park. The cemetery is located at 986 Wilson Avenue, North York, ON M3K 1G5. The entrance is located on the north side of Wilson Avenue, slightly east  of Keele Street and west of the intersection with Dufferin Street.

View the Map of Mount Sinai Memorial Park

View the Map from Beth Sholom to Mount Sinai Memorial Park

Shiva & Shiva Minyan

Shiva is observed for the first seven days following the burial of one's father, mother, spouse, son, daughter, brother (including half-brother), and sister (including half-sister).

Rabbi Flanzraich or our other clergy can offer guidance with respect to the laws and traditions surrounding specific exceptions during Shabbat and certain Jewish holidays.

Following the funeral, the three daily prayer services will be held in the Shiva home and the mourners recite the Kaddish. Our synagogue can provide prayer books for the shiva house.

Members of the community are expected to help complete a Minyan. If a mourner is unable to lead the Minyan himself, we will make our best efforts to help you arrange Minyan leaders from among the Beth Sholom community.

On days when it is not possible to gather a Minyan in the Shiva home, the mourner is encouraged and welcomed to attend services in the synagogue. Contact Roseanne at (416) 783-6103 for assistance.

The Shiva Home

It is a mitzvah for the mourners to observe Shiva in the place where the soul departed, but if this is not possible, another location is designated (for example, the departed's home or the home of a mourner).

To prepare the Shiva home:

  • Cover, remove or turn around all mirrors and pictures of people
  • Light a seven-day candle which is usually provided by the funeral home (if a seven-day candle cannot be found, you may use seven regular candles, but a candle should always remain lit)
  • Arrange low stools or crates for the mourners to sit on, and regular chairs for visitors.
  • Prepare Kippot, Tallit and tefillin, prayer books for services, a charity box and several books of Psalms. Refreshments should be limited to simple cake and juice and/or coffee - elaborate food and drink is to be avoided.
  • If a Torah scroll is to be kept in the Shiva home for prayer services, it should be placed in a respectable location and covered with a Tallit when not being used.

Restrictions During Shiva

Rabbi Flanzraich and our other clergy can provide guidance and answer questions about prohibited activities and exceptions during Shiva.

In summary, mourners are prohibited from:

  • Greeting people in the usual manner (i.e "Hello," "Hi")
  • Wearing fresh clothing
  • Shaving or taking a haircut
  • Playing or listening to music
  • Participating in joyful activities (i.e. reading papers or entertaining books, watching videos or shows, attending social events, concerts, or weddings, etc.)
  • Sitting on regular chairs, stools, recliners, or couches
  • Working
  • Bathing for pleasure
  • Using cosmetics, lotions, oils, and perfumes
  • Wearing leather shoes
  • Engaging in marital relations
  • Studying Torah (except parts dealing with mourning and repentance)

Mourners Kaddish

Kaddish is recited in the morning, afternoon and evening when one is in mourning. It is always and only recited in the presence of a Minyan and not alone. We say Kaddish for 11 months from the date of burial for our parents, and for one month from the date of burial for our spouses, siblings, and children.

If you have any questions regarding saying Kaddish, or the date and timing of when to end your Kaddish, please contact Rabbi Flanzraich or our other clergy.

Hebrew Transliteration:

Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba, b'alma di-v'ra chirutei, v'yamlich malchutei, b'chayeichon, uvyomeichon uvchayei d'chol beit yisrael, ba'agala uvizman kariv, v'im'ru: "amen."

Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varach l'alam ul'almei almaya. Yitbarach v'yishtabach, v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam v'yitnaseh, v'yithadar v'yit'aleh v'yit'halal sh'mei d'kud'sha, b'rich hu, l'eila min-kol-birchata v'shirata, tushb'chata v'nechemata da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru: "amen."

Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya, v'chayim aleinu v'al-kol-yisrael, v'im'ru: "amen."

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu, v'al kol-yisrael, v'imru: "amen."

English Translation:

Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

Mourning

Throughout the year of mourning, mourners are welcome to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish at Beth Sholom during Weekday and Shabbat Services.

Rabbi Flanzraich  or our other clergy is available for consultation as you prepare the burial stone and will also assist you in conducting a hakamat hamatzeiva (unveiling) service.

Yahrzeit:

We observe yahrzeit for our parents, spouses, siblings and children. It is marked on the Hebrew date of the person’s passing beginning the evening before at sundown.

A  24-hour candle is lit and we attend synagogue to recite the Kaddish. It is traditional to avoid attending any celebrations or parties on the day of yahrzeit, and some people fast on that day. We also traditionally give to a charity in the name of the deceased.

Members receive notification of an upcoming yahrzeit the month before and are invited to attend services in the synagogue. At this time we honour the memory by announcing the name at our synagogue during services the Shabbat morning preceding the day of yahrzeit.

A 24-hour candle is also traditionally lit every year at sundown preceding the start of Yom Kippur, and at sundown preceding the last day of the holidays of Sukkot, Passover and Shavuot.

Memorial Plaque

Honour the memory of a dear one, in the most fitting, traditional and dignified manner – with a memorial plaque. Each memorial plaque, bearing the name and yahrzeit date of your loved one, is mounted on a bronze plaque and placed in one of these locations:

  • Menorah Project Plaques: outside the Sanctuary by the Kiddush lobby
  • Wall Plaques: in the Sanctuary and Chapel
  • Seat Plaques: in the Sanctuary and Chapel
  • Tree of Life Plaques: outside the Chapel

To purchase a memorial plaque, please contact Roseanne at (416) 783-6103.

https://www.bethsholom.net/form/memorial-plaque-order-form.html

 

Yizkor:

Yizkor, in Hebrew, means "Remember." It is also a special memorial prayer for the departed recited in the synagogue following the Torah reading on the last day of Passover, on the second day of Shavuot, on Shemini Atzeret and on Yom Kippur.

The main component of Yizkor is our private pledge to give charity following the holiday in honour of the deceased.

Each year, Beth Sholom produces a Yizkor Memorial Book. This book is an important part of our community’s remembrance of loved ones and observance of Yizkor prayer. Each year, members are invited to submit the names of departed loved ones.

One More Candle Project

Our Synagogue is supporting the One More Candle project. Its aim is to ensure each of the 1.5 million children who perished with their families in the Shoah is not forgotten. Many have no one to remember that they lived. By partnering with the One More Candle program, Beth Sholom Synagogue has committed to honoring the memory of 365 children who perished in the Shoah, one for each day of the calendar year. We hope you will consider “adopting” a child’s yahrzeit for the same date as your loved ones. (Z”L).  There is no cost.

For more information about adopting a child’s yahrzeit please visit: https://onemorecandle.org/

Monuments & Unveilings

There are many customs relating to the timing of erecting the monument and unveiling ceremonies. You may select the monument provider of your choice; however, all monuments must meet the size regulations set out by the cemetery. The funeral home you have selected will be helpful in assisting you with obtaining the names of different providers in the city, if required. 

The cost of the monument is the responsibility of the family. The monument company must apply for a permit to erect the monument in the cemetery. In addition to the cost of the monument, there are charges to the synagogue.

To discuss the details and customs of the unveiling and arrange a convenient time, please speak with Rabbi Flanzraich or our other clergy

Sun, November 3 2024 2 Cheshvan 5785